The Faggot PhenomenonAnd The Beauty Of Suicide

Let's talk about homoseuxals for a bit, shall we? Now, you always hear people yammer on about how "unatural" homos are and how "perverted" they are, but honestly, I think that they've got it completely backward! On the contrary, faggots are *EXTREMELY* important to the survival of this planet.

To put it as bluntly as possible, on a purely genetic level, nature itself has recognized that humanity is a fucking plague upon this planet and if not countered in some way, *WILL* destroy the entire earth itself and all life upon it.

As such, as a genetic failsafe, more and more people are being born homosexual in order to prevent mass breeding and to blunt the incredible overpopulation of the human species. Simply put, the more people who are gay, the less we'll be able to breed through conventional means and the less people there will be on the planet. Tres simple, non?

Similarly, there's also an increase in people who are depressed. I believe that this depression is a completely natural occurrence and is basically another kind of genetic failsafe. Basically, on the genetic level, your body knows that you're an evolutionary dead end, so in order to prevent you from breeding and passing on your faulty genes, a trigger is kicked on in yer brain to make you feel so depressed that you'll want to kill yourself...for the benefit of the species.

Again, it's completely natural and anyone who is feeling overly depressed should be highly encouraged to end their lives as a gift to the rest of us who enjoy life and enjoy living. Their deaths will mean more oxygen for the rest of us, as well as reducing precious, wasted resources, which in turn will benefit the planet.

And honestly, isn't the continuation of the planet more important than the life of someone who is depressed who *WANTS* to die? It really makes no sense at all to try and intervene and prevent such a natural and beautiful sacrifice to mother earth.

Those that want to kill themselves should be praised and remembered throughout history as patriots and warriors in the fight to save the planet from the human disease which has infested her for so long. It is only because of selfish human PERVERSION that we try and interfere with such a natural, evolutionary design.

^__^

Fuzzy Pillars!

I like fuzzy pillars...but sometimes their fuzziness stings yer skin a bit...I think it's to make them taste bad. That way if they get eaten by something, well, at least they'll have the satisfaction of knowing that they gave their attacker indigestion!

In further news, I've uncovered a *MASSIVE* conspiracy! I'm here to blow the lid off the biggest cover up since 9-11! DON'T BE FOOLED!


It's those dentists! Every last one of them is in on it too! Can you believe it?! They've been deceiving us all this time, with their demented, devious, demeanors and dishonest discourse, derailing our daily drudge and dominating us to endure discolored, dingy, decayed, disgusting, dentures unless we brush our teeth!

All this time we've been conned by those crafty, cretinous, contemptible, conspiring, culprits of crooked corruption! But they've fooled us for the last time! And they won't be getting away with it either!

No siree, a magnificent, mystery mom has managed to muster up a method of mopping up the muck and maligning those malicious, misrepresenting, mischievous malcontents!

Now that they've all been outed, their secrets torn open, their lies disproved, there's no room for denial or refutal for this foul, fumbling, fixed, fictitious, foisted fraud!

We're free from the fastidious, fatiguing formula of frivolous fictition from those fiendish, freakish foes, for which we've foolishly forced, furiously upon our foreworn fangs, as well as the faulty, fruitless flossing of our festoon foundries.

But no more! Rejoice my friends, for the secret is out...for only a finite fee of fifty dollars! Certainly *WELL* worth the price to circumvent the cunning, conspiracy crisis of these foistrous fuckheads!

*nods*

Protip - Gestures and smilies really get the ED forum groupies into a gigantic, grumpus, snit fit.

*smiles*

^__^

Oh Shi-

LOL, check out the lulz!
Encyclopedia Butthurt

Wooo! Sen...sa...tive! *nods*

I especially liked the part where Mthrfckn jumps in and starts crying about how it was really someone else whose the pussy. *snicker* Yeah, nice save there, Fumbles. I think what he meant to say was that he's not able to make like a pussy himself, so he PM'd some mommy moderator and asked them to do it for him.

The part where he starts posting links to my blog is also real funny. Apparently he's quite the fan boi. I mean it's not like I go around posting the address of this blog all over the web, it's mostly intended just for Netters and as such it's primarily only posted in my Usenet .sig.

Not sure why they're reading it though, my blog isn't for my mouthy haters and Hatter Addicts, it's meant for people who actually *ENJOY* my work, not for those who get all butt hurt and pissy about it.

I did just notice something particularly odd though...they don't own them. The web board I mean, it's a cookie cutter bullshit setup, probably a freebie one at that. Check it out:
www.forums.com

Might be fun to go over their ToS and see if I can't get them to lose their little freebie board. That'd be *REALLY* funny, not to mention ironic. As I've always said, you should never do to anyone what you wouldn't want done to yourself, so since they like banning people so much, well, maybe the same ought to be done to them? I think it'd be a good lesson...although granted the ED kids are a lot like CWC, they don't really seem to learn at all from their verbal ass kickings.

They're not much for kookology and lulz either, most of them are just in it so they can try and feel all self superior. Srsly, they recently had a whole fuckin multiple page forum thread all about how posting on ED makes them feel important. *snicker* I'll see if I can find the link to it, if I can, I'll do an update to this article.

In the mean time, enjoy the lulz of them bitching and whining about being exposed as gutless fuckin PUSSIES. Not that it was really new news or anything, but I guess the little goobers just weren't aware at all of how the rest of the Internet looks at them. ^__^

EDIT 1
------
There was just a post by some guy named Dr. TL:DR whose reposting my blog entries on ED along with the text:
"didnt read it but im sure it's pretty gay"

LOL, as if I'd really expect any of them to be able to. I mean it's not exactly like I go out of my way to try and dumb my work down to the 4th grade reading level. Pretty much unless yer a college graduate yer gonna have a hard time getting through most of my posts. Either because you'll encounter too many "big words" or because yer Ritalin wears off by the time you get to the second sentence.

EDIT 2
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I found it!

An Elite Internet Club

LOL, also check out the latest post from mthrfckn where he's all, "ZOMG DON'T GIVE HIM ANY ATTENTION!!1!"

*snicker*

Yeah, like that's gonna make me lose interest in fucking around with yer idiot froup for shits and giggles. This kid is obviously seriously the fuck out of his league, he really has no fuckin cl00 at all.

Encyclopedia Butthurt

So, in case you haven't been keeping up, Encyclopedia Dramatica got itself a cookie cutter Webbie board and an IRC channel to boot! So I decided to go on over and check 'em out! I was banned from the forums in less than two days. Reason for the ban? None given. Srsly, their reason for banning me was pure, mass level, BUTT HURT.

Apparently it came as somewhat of a surprise to the other regs as I was still chatting in the IRC channel and everyone thought it was a little odd since I hadn't done anything mean or nasty to anyone there and was actually contributing to the lulz on a variety of topics...I guess though the one who did the banning was some tweenage muppet fuck by the name of "mthrfkn" (real original there).

I guess I fucked the kid's mother or something, because I was informed that he had some massive hard on for me and was absolutely ENRAGED when he found out I was posting and I guess got even moar upset when he found out that every other reg in the froup wasn't frothing over me in hatred like he was.

I think part of what makes the kid so angry and upset is that he can dish it, but he sure the fuck can't take it, and the fact that I can, well, it just drives him bonkers.

So anyway, flash forward a few weeks later and I uncover a massively EPIC LOLcow the likes of which hasn't been seen since CWC...I mean I'm talkin about a kook so gawd damn epic she PRAYS TO GOD TO MAKE HER A MERMAID! And she recently turned 20! Yeah, I kid you fucking not, this girl is like the female version of Chris. I made a page for her here:
Megan Squiers

So, being that I'm a fairly nice guy all around I decided it would be pretty pig headed of me not to share with other trolls, so I went on over to the ED IRC channel and posted a bit about the girl and everyone got real excited and someone said they would make a post for me on the forums after I got all the data compiled and sorted out for maximum LOLs. So I agreed and logged off. A couple days later, after I built the before mentioned site, I went back to the IRC channel to tell them all about it, only when I got there the user "mthrfkn" was there and apparently in massive need of a tampon as he just instantly started tryin to jump all over me with inane bullshit and trying to "attack" me with 5th rate, grade school bullshit whilst frothing on at the mouth like I killed his family or fucked his sister or something. So, being me, of course I just laughed at the little goober and made fun of him, which I guess was too much for the kid to handle so he got all spastic and banned me from the IRC channel like he did on the forums.

Now, yes, I could fire up some proxies and just go right back and start posting or chatting in IRC, but I got to thinkin about it and I figured...ya know...why should I? I mean the whole purpose of Encyclopedia Dramatica is ~supposed~ to be all about documenting, tracking, and exploiting LULZ all over the grid, which was exactly what I was giving them, practically going out of my way really to give it to them and to share epic material that I really didn't have to...and what do I get for my massively incredible contributions? Yeah, butthurt, massive fuckin butthurt.

So no, I'm not going to waste my time on ignorant tweenagers who have no real interest in LULZ, they're far too busy banning each other and stepping all over themselves for unwarranted self importance on their little shit stain of a Webbie board. To the point where, as I came to find out, is apparently some kind of a major problem they're having, where the regs keep senselessly banning their own users left and right for no reason at all, other than the fact that they're all mostly butthurt and can't handle being on the receiving end.

The group they've made really doesn't have any genuine interest at all in the art of trolling or kookology, they just want to run around trying to pick on people slightly kookier than they are so they can try and feel better about how incredibly fucking pathetic they all are. Kookologists they are not.