The Current "Generation Barney" And "Racist" Invective Plays

I really do need to think of a better name for these...invective skits...word art plays...mmm...

*looks up the definition of skit*

"though both a sketch and skit are short entertaining presentations, a sketch is usually serious and unrehearsed, while a skit is typically rehearsed and comical"

Hmmm...if a sketch is serious, and a skit is comical...mmm...I could call it a skitch! And it sorta fits too since it is technically a serious form of comedy, or rather appearing serious with a humorous intent.

Well, anyway, below is the current version/rendition of the "Generation Barney" skitch. I've actually used dozens of different variations of this one over the past two years, each time I use it I try and evolve it, expand it, refine it, so this represents the most recent form of it that I've used.

The target in this case was this fucked up little tweenage online attention whore by the name of "Jess". She does all sorts of kooky stuff, the highlight being randomly attacking/screaming at people for "stealing" her "art", often when the only similarity is some vague color reference or they used some kind of overly generic, cliche name or whatever for one of their characters, which she of course claims sole copyright ownership of (even though hundreds of thousands of people were using variations of it long before she was ever even born). Anyway, with that in mind, here is teh skitch:

Jess is a product of early 90s public education. You see back in the early 90s they decided that they couldn't fail kids anymore because it might lower their self esteem, so if you wound up with an F they would just change it around to an A+ for having an *A*ttitude that was *+*ositive and pass you along to the next grade.

Of course the end result of all this was basically a rather large insurgence of completely fucking stupid MORONS, who despite being so incredibly untalented and completely lacking in both creativity and intelligence, see themselves as coming out on top. After all, how else would you expect an F student to see herself if you always give her As for having a positive Attitude?

Even when a tweenage child of the 90s retard like Jess completely fails at something, she still thinks she passed with flying colors. But there is hope! People like Jess can join Barney rehab clinics and take demotivational classes to help them realign with reality. We all just need to reach out and help her to understand what an idiot she is and that being an idiot does not make you a winner. Once she realizes and accepts that, she can start to get better.

I refer to kids like Jess as "Generation Barney", because growing up they always had Barney there to coddle them every step of the way and tell them that he loved them even if they were failures. And of course her generation was always drugged up off to school each day with enough Ritalin to ensure proper complacency and acceptance of their failing "accomplishments". They were told that it was "okay" to wet the bed, then that it was "okay" to shit yourself and before you knew it they were suddenly coming out with Pampers SIZE SEVEN to accommodate Generation FAILURE at its finest. They even had to super size kids meals, not because their generation was eating more, but because the morons didn't stop ordering them after the age of 10.

And as long as Jess's parents remember to drug her off to school each day they can rest well knowing she won't snap and kill all her classmates with the sudden epiphany of what she really is in life...a pathetic, dribbling failure who will never accomplish anything. It is so *VERY* important that kids like Jess continue to take their Ritalin for their whole life though, lest we wind up with more instances like the Columbine massacre. Such horrible atrocities as you know didn't start happening *UNTIL* Generation Barney, quite unsurprisingly.

After all, if you've been passed along all your life with a pat on the head and a bowl full of praise what do you think is gonna happen when those kids grow up? At that point even the most inconsequential of failures will be like slamming into a concrete wall at a 100 mph. Likely causing a total mental break down because they just never learned how to fuckin deal as a kid.

^__^

Fun stuff. This next one, which is still in development, is my "racist" skitch, which was done in response to all that retarded controversy over Imus when he said some girls were "nappy headed" (which apparently is somehow racist). So, with that in mind, here is teh "racist" skitch:

It's just Imus, People. Chill. Personally I would have called them "nappy headed niggers" just for added effect. I mean, really, if yer gonna poke at retards for the spaz factor, shit man, go for the fuckin gold.

Get them cracker asses out there to dance the "white boi" and then we can nail up a few clipped tipped kike sheisters on the cross whilst goatse fuckin Sambo up his filthy black ass with a giant watermellon. And don't even get me started on those cloggies and roo fuckers...oh and then ya got yer jap ass EngRish molesting squid suckers, yer alphabits arab, born to be bombs, camel clit lickers. And don't forget those seal bashing, raw meat eating snow blower chinks. Or yer Ox shit face painters. Filthy pinos, white flag waving crapauds, cannuck queebs, Jew killing krauts, guati chods, border bitch beaners, julab button headed knot topped gas pumpin stop 'n rob clerks, thick mick frotch frosted mick donald bitch drunk clover clowns.

...anyone else I'm missing? ^_^

I've only just done the one variation of that, so it still needs quite a bit of revision and expansion, especially in that I want to try and make the piece as absolutely "insulting" and "offending" to every single ethnic group I can possibly get it to. I'd also like to develop a similar one for religions (and non religions) as well. I think one good way of expanding it would be to pick out of each ethnic group like the "worst of the worst" example of a human being, for example with Germans that'd obviously be Hitler, and then do some kind of overly invective play off that, obviously with the insinuation that everyone in the ethnic group is exactly like that person.

The point is to forcibly hammer the notion that if you want to classify yourself as an ethnic group, then you inherently lose the right to be an individual, an individual that is not limited or governed by where you were born or what color your skin is. And that ethnic jokes can only really be insulting and/or offending if you give up your right to be an individual for what is, essentially, nothing more than a label, a social construct that doesn't actually exist beyond your ability to convince other sheeple of its relevance.

...of course most of the population on the planet is so absolutely fuckin stupid they won't even be able to recognize that intention at all, on any level and will of course blow up in epic, frothing kooksplosions in response to it...which, really, actually gives away my second intention for the piece...and that is to show that I'm not racist against any particular ethnic group, but rather I am "racist" against stupid people, to the point that I want to try and torture them with their own sheer fucking idiocy for my own personal entertainment. `, )